Rock Entrée

If one was to wrap the musical evolution spanning Beatlemania through Y2K into the metaphoric capsule of a single day’s meals, it could all be summarized like this: the British Invasion of 1964 was the early morning coffee boost; AOR implementers like Revolver, Blonde on Blond and Pet Sounds were the vitamin-enriched late breakfast/early lunch; popsike and late ’60s exotica were a sweet-toothed afternoon snack; and, feast regalia, the divine scope and grand ambitions of epic ’70s rock, prog and fusion made for the utmost delicious and nutritious banquet of a lifetime, topped off decadently by some yummy dessert at a colorfully neon-lit cafe, which would of course bring you to the early ’80s.

Sadly, you’ll rise the next day feeling utterly nauseous; spewing toxins from every orifice in your body when (bombs away!) you come to the crude headlight horror that, yes, you’ve died and awoken in the ’90s – the replacement for hell, which is now saving space for the reprehensible purveyors of that heinous deca[y]de’s atrocious music and ghastly fashions. And no, you didn’t get sick from something you’d eaten during the preceding day of festive indulgence. It was all down to some poisonous pollen you had unwittingly sniffed while heading home after dessert the prior evening. That pollen, of course, being the late ’80s.

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